Einstein and the Fountain of Youth

Posted By on April 23, 2014

Did Einstein discover the secret to the Fountain of Youth?

As someone captivated with time and time theories I find Einstein’s theory of Special Relativity particularly interesting. In the interest of my not botching the description you can read about SR here:
Now the part I find particularly fascinating is the notion that when we travel at fast speeds we reach our destination faster. All right, I know what you’re thinking. It’s not fascinating, it’s a fact. Well if we apply Einstein’s theory to that fact than our perspective changes. We do not reach our destination faster because we travelled faster. We reach our destination faster because time slows for us.
Have you ever heard someone say Astronauts age slower than people on Earth? Well it’s technically true. It may be only mere seconds but they still age slower.
Here’s an example:
A moving clock runs more slowly than a stationary clock.
The most famous hypothetical illustration of time dilation is usually called the twin paradox. Suppose there are twins named Harry and Mary. Mary takes off in a spaceship which travels very fast away from earth (it must travel close to the speed of light for the effect to be noticeable) and returns very fast. We can think of the human body as a clock which records the passage of time by aging. Since Mary is moving very fast, her clock runs slowly, compared to Harry’s clock. As a result, when Mary arrives back at earth she has aged less than Harry has. How much less depends on how far she has traveled, and how fast. (Read more here: http://webs.morningside.edu/slaven/Physics/relativity/relativity5.html)
So this brings us to my question: Did Einstein discovers the secret to the fountain of youth. I think YES! If a stationary body ages faster than a body in motion than in order to stay young we have to stay active. So the secret to youth is actually not a secret at all. Richard Simmons, Body Break(Canadian fitness troupe) and many other space-time consorting activists have traveled before us promising youthful bodies if only we follow their routines. Perhaps they are right and my diet of caffeine and sugar merely gives the allusion of youth, because it makes you hyper and you talk faster. 

Why Live Music? A Serious Question

Posted By on April 18, 2014

Your car stereo. Your computer. Your MP3 player. Your phone. We’ve never had more technology enabling us to listen to music, and that technology has never been more mobile. And with services like iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp Last.fm, GrooveShark, et al, we’ve never had more ways of discovering new music. And due to incredible advancements in personal recording technology, it’s never been easier for amateurs to produce songs on our own, load them on every service and sync them to every device. There is recorded music everywhere, and everyone is making it.

. . .

So why do we come back to live music? What is it about the concert ritual that draws us back in? And what can aspiring musicians learn about their craft from that ritual?

Communal music is an ancient human tradition. After all, some of the earliest tools we find among the fossils of our ancestors are musical instruments. Music’s role in human society has been spiritual in nature across cultural lines and through generations: singing meditation bowls, adhan called out by muezzin from minarets, gospel songs performed on organ to the dancing faithful, the Torah portion earnestly chanted by young congregates on Sabbath. Whether it was music or spirituality that came first to the ritual of communal gathering is the subject for an article written by someone distinctly more educated than myself. For now, it’s suffice to say that these things have gone hand-in-hand for quite some time, and that this ritual is deeply ingrained in our ideas of society and civilization.

In modern Western culture (I speak of primarily the United States wherein lies my expertise), the musical gathering has been largely divorced from religiosity. Most of our musical experiences today are social events. Although we may hope for an amazingly communal and spiritual experience, musical performances are no longer necessarily connected to any kind of spirituality, and they are no longer necessarily communal events with active participation for attendees.

So why do audiences go to live music shows? Why not stay at home and just listen to the recordings that fill our hard drives and our cloud storage?

Steampunk News iPhone App Retiring

Posted By on April 18, 2014

I’m sorry to have to announce that the Steampunk News iPhone App will be withdrawn from the iTunes store in the near future.

I originally wrote the app as a hobby, and it led to the creation of this site, which I for one am rather pleased about, however the annual charge for maintaining my app on Apple’s app store is no longer financially viable to me, hence the withdrawal from Apple’s iTunes store.

Existing users of the app will be able to continue using it, however please remember to back it up, as it will no longer be available from the App store if you ever need to rebuild your device.

The site is now completely mobile-friendly, so hopefully this won’t be too much of a problem for anyone.



Cap’n’s Cabaret #116: Ready for a Rumble?

Posted By on April 13, 2014

Pugilism, fisticuffs, the duel in the squared circle, the sweet science…whatever you call it, it is perhaps the manliest dance in the world.

One ring, two men, fifteen rounds. No low blows or rabbit punches. Let’s get it on! [image from wikimedia]

Boxing is a sport that has been around as long as man has been entertained by a good fight. From Ancient Greece to the modern Olympics, from Sullivan to Dempsey, this round of organized violence has gotten blood pumping the world over.

And the latest match may be the most important yet!

For today it’s the battle between the Black Uhlan of the Rhine and the Brown Bomber, and the world is watching.

I’m here today in sold-out Yankee Stadium with two boxing legends, both named Jack: the indomitable Jack Johnson, who dominated the ring in the teens, and the incredible Jack Dempsey, who dominated it in the twenties. You may remember Jack Johnson, the Galveston Giant, as the loud mouthed uppity black man with the white wives, the fancy cars, the pet panther, and the audacity to speak his mind in public. You may remember the forlorn “Great White Hope” supposed to put the man in his place. And you may remember Johnson remorselessly putting him to the mat without breaking a sweat. You may also remember the ludicrous prison sentence for bringing a white woman across state lines for “immoral purposes”…ergo to for a consensual relationship.

That prison time is behind him, as is his immortal boxing career, but that famous attitude thankfully hasn’t left. He’s a man of taste and a blast to be around, and certainly found a home here in the Cabaret.

The other Jack is the incomparable Jack Dempsey, the Manassa Mauler, who dominated the sport for nearly a decade himself. A beautifully brutal bruiser, Dempsey is a man whose gentle, personable demeanor is hard to reconcile with the untamed beast unleashed in the ring. You may remember his jackhammer destruction of Carpentier in ’21 or from pretty much every newsreel of the decade. We know him as a fun-loving guy and gentleman of the highest caliber.

New Chap Unites High and Low Life

Posted By on April 12, 2014

The latest issue of The Chap, in all branches of W.H. Smith nationwide and selected independent bookshops, looks at the links between high society and low life.

Cover star Gaz Mayall informs Michael “Atters” Attree that he once disc jockeyed for the Prime Minister without even realising it. The guests’ favourite tune was called “Gangster, Gangster.”

Elsewhere in the 74th edition of our humble organ, you will find an article in which Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer argues that hip hop was invented by Edith Sitwell; we advise the purchase of a British fountain pen from one of three reputable companies still producing them; we look at snuff taking and ask some ladies to sample some; the pea coat gets an airing on deck; our American correspondent visits Dinseyland on “Dapper Day”, when guests are encouraged to dress up and Mickey Mouse wears braces; and we learn how the history of Barcelona was shaped by its citizens’ moustaches.

Purchase individual copies of the latest issue or subscribe from www.thechapmagazine.co.uk/magazine

Trend Hunter publishes the iPhonograph on their web site….YAY!

Posted By on April 4, 2014

Click for the Trend Hunter Article:

I Wish This Was An April Fool’s Day Gag, But It’s Not!

Posted By on April 1, 2014

Sorry, Pilsner’s Picks fans, but I’m still temporarily out of business due to a copyright infringement claim by my web host, 4Shared. This claim happens to be clearly mistaken, but the company’s legal counsel can’t seem to understand why. So there won’t be any April playlist, but I might be back in May with some more free music.

Free music, yes— where but in America can you get in trouble for giving something away? Sheesh!

My friends at Reverse Garbage

Posted By on March 31, 2014

Reverse Garbage had a ‘Wheel of Crap’ event showcasing found objects upcycled to useful artefacts…and displaying my ‘Sir Round-a-Sound’

 Reverse Garbage

iPhonograph Chrome is finally finished and with its new owners!

Posted By on March 30, 2014

This one also has a remote control and plays your music beautifully.

This is it’s third and final incarnation….see if you can find the differences.

Cap’n’s Cabret #115: Hockey, eh?

Posted By on March 29, 2014

Furious, fast-paced, and frozen, hockey comes to the US!

A gift from our northern neighbors, the sport of Hocky brings the fast paced world of nonstop sport to the ice. Skates are worn, allowing incredibly fast movement as the players chase a small rubber “puck” across the ice, assaulting it with a large L-shaped stick, and then attempt to score a goal in a net not much bigger than the big guy guarding it. It’s a game that is both graceful and brutal all at the same time, for 250 pounds of Quebecois zipping towards you at full skate or a slap-shot puck can get your attention like not much else.

Hence why the game includes lots of padding as well.

It’s a game that’s been all the rage north of the St. Lawrence for over a century. And now the Canadians’ National Hockey League is moving south, with new American teams popping up in all the major northern cities, from the Boston Bruins to the New York Americans [pictutred; image from wikibooks, History of the National Hockey League]. And what a game it can be! The excitement of the Stanley Cup final can lead to many a bar-room bet (and brawl!) when the beers are flowing.

Haven’t seen a game, pal? Check out the Chicago Shamrocks:


If that doesn’t catch your fancy, pal, its hard to say what will.


And if watching that made you shiver, here’s a drink that’ll thaw you out from the inside, a good Hot Toddy:


Hot Toddy Cocktail:

[image from viroqua.coop]

  • 1 1/2 oz Brandy, Whisky, or Rum
  • 1 tbsp Honey
  • Juice of 1/4 Lemon
  • 1 cup Hot Water
  • 1 teabag of Black Tea

 Coat the inside of a mug or Irish Coffee glass with honey. Add liquor and lemon juice. On the side, steep tea in hot water. When it reaches desired strength, add to cocktail and stir. Lemon wheel, cinnamon stick, and star anise garnish optional.

Nazi Fetishism

Posted By on March 27, 2014

Some time ago, I joined a dieselpunk group on facebook, and this post came up in my feed:

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. My first thought was do these people not realize the reaction they’re naturally going to get? 
I mean, sure, the swastika is a very old symbol, predating Nazis by a few thousand years at least, and has usually had positive connotations. But that’s not what we’re talking about – they’re not invoking eastern culture, they’re specifically invoking the Nazi connotations, and there isn’t anyone who’s going to see them wearing it that’s not going to associate it with this:

(I went with one of the milder pictures – we all know there are more discomfiting images out there….)

And there is no getting around that association. These people cannot expect people anywhere in the world to look at them wearing Nazi uniforms and not think that these are people who probably hate Jews, Romani, Gays, and the mentally challenged.

And since they say they’re not, it begs the question, are these people just wanting to be contrary and stir up trouble because their mothers didn’t give them enough attention as children?

I was at an artist gathering where the models were dressed on a steampunk theme a few months ago, and one of the male volunteer models was dressed as an un-dead German soldier, gas mask and everything. He had a character backstory though, that it seemed very important to him that everyone know: This character had been involved in one of the failed assassination attempts on Hitler, and was killed in the attempt. (And subsequently re-animated, but that’s beside the point.)

It was important to him that people be reminded that not all Germans in that period were entirely comfortable with Hitler’s actions, and there were indeed people who stood up and tried to do something about it. And see, that’s a commendable way to present that, and he wasn’t being stupid about it. Not only was he trying to educate people, but he recognized that there was no getting around people’s reaction to what he was wearing.

the CAN!CAN!CAN! Sandwich on IndieGOGO!

Posted By on March 26, 2014

So there’s this thing. It’s called the Grilled Cheese Invitational, and it’s pretty much what it sounds like. Their motto is ‘Bread, Butter, Cheese, Victory!’ and they’re holding the last one ever this year. I’m competing and it’s going to be great. This is about fun. It’s about being weird and loving it. It is about the future of what grilled cheese will be, post-apocolypse, when all we have is canned foodstuffs. 

My sandwich is called the CAN!CAN!CAN! and it features canned butter, canned cheese and canned bread. It’s going to be a ton of fun. To help fund my way in this endeavor I have an Indiegogo campaign that has some awesome rewards based on the graphic I’ve created to represent my dazzling creation. You should check it out. Watch the video, because it’s seriously one of the funniest things I’ve done in a while. 

I’ll be wearing a can-can outfit while grilling s’whiches. Because surely those will survive the apocolypse.

Check out my indieGoGo can-pain!