Cap’n's Cabaret #116: Ready for a Rumble?

Posted By on April 13, 2014

Pugilism, fisticuffs, the duel in the squared circle, the sweet science…whatever you call it, it is perhaps the manliest dance in the world.

One ring, two men, fifteen rounds. No low blows or rabbit punches. Let’s get it on! [image from wikimedia]

Boxing is a sport that has been around as long as man has been entertained by a good fight. From Ancient Greece to the modern Olympics, from Sullivan to Dempsey, this round of organized violence has gotten blood pumping the world over.

And the latest match may be the most important yet!

For today it’s the battle between the Black Uhlan of the Rhine and the Brown Bomber, and the world is watching.

I’m here today in sold-out Yankee Stadium with two boxing legends, both named Jack: the indomitable Jack Johnson, who dominated the ring in the teens, and the incredible Jack Dempsey, who dominated it in the twenties. You may remember Jack Johnson, the Galveston Giant, as the loud mouthed uppity black man with the white wives, the fancy cars, the pet panther, and the audacity to speak his mind in public. You may remember the forlorn “Great White Hope” supposed to put the man in his place. And you may remember Johnson remorselessly putting him to the mat without breaking a sweat. You may also remember the ludicrous prison sentence for bringing a white woman across state lines for “immoral purposes”…ergo to for a consensual relationship.

That prison time is behind him, as is his immortal boxing career, but that famous attitude thankfully hasn’t left. He’s a man of taste and a blast to be around, and certainly found a home here in the Cabaret.

The other Jack is the incomparable Jack Dempsey, the Manassa Mauler, who dominated the sport for nearly a decade himself. A beautifully brutal bruiser, Dempsey is a man whose gentle, personable demeanor is hard to reconcile with the untamed beast unleashed in the ring. You may remember his jackhammer destruction of Carpentier in ’21 or from pretty much every newsreel of the decade. We know him as a fun-loving guy and gentleman of the highest caliber.

New Chap Unites High and Low Life

Posted By on April 12, 2014

The latest issue of The Chap, in all branches of W.H. Smith nationwide and selected independent bookshops, looks at the links between high society and low life.

Cover star Gaz Mayall informs Michael “Atters” Attree that he once disc jockeyed for the Prime Minister without even realising it. The guests’ favourite tune was called “Gangster, Gangster.”

Elsewhere in the 74th edition of our humble organ, you will find an article in which Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer argues that hip hop was invented by Edith Sitwell; we advise the purchase of a British fountain pen from one of three reputable companies still producing them; we look at snuff taking and ask some ladies to sample some; the pea coat gets an airing on deck; our American correspondent visits Dinseyland on “Dapper Day”, when guests are encouraged to dress up and Mickey Mouse wears braces; and we learn how the history of Barcelona was shaped by its citizens’ moustaches.

Purchase individual copies of the latest issue or subscribe from

Trend Hunter publishes the iPhonograph on their web site….YAY!

Posted By on April 4, 2014

Click for the Trend Hunter Article:

I Wish This Was An April Fool’s Day Gag, But It’s Not!

Posted By on April 1, 2014

Sorry, Pilsner’s Picks fans, but I’m still temporarily out of business due to a copyright infringement claim by my web host, 4Shared. This claim happens to be clearly mistaken, but the company’s legal counsel can’t seem to understand why. So there won’t be any April playlist, but I might be back in May with some more free music.

Free music, yes— where but in America can you get in trouble for giving something away? Sheesh!

My friends at Reverse Garbage

Posted By on March 31, 2014

Reverse Garbage had a ‘Wheel of Crap’ event showcasing found objects upcycled to useful artefacts…and displaying my ‘Sir Round-a-Sound’

 Reverse Garbage

iPhonograph Chrome is finally finished and with its new owners!

Posted By on March 30, 2014

This one also has a remote control and plays your music beautifully.

This is it’s third and final incarnation….see if you can find the differences.

Cap’n's Cabret #115: Hockey, eh?

Posted By on March 29, 2014

Furious, fast-paced, and frozen, hockey comes to the US!

A gift from our northern neighbors, the sport of Hocky brings the fast paced world of nonstop sport to the ice. Skates are worn, allowing incredibly fast movement as the players chase a small rubber “puck” across the ice, assaulting it with a large L-shaped stick, and then attempt to score a goal in a net not much bigger than the big guy guarding it. It’s a game that is both graceful and brutal all at the same time, for 250 pounds of Quebecois zipping towards you at full skate or a slap-shot puck can get your attention like not much else.

Hence why the game includes lots of padding as well.

It’s a game that’s been all the rage north of the St. Lawrence for over a century. And now the Canadians’ National Hockey League is moving south, with new American teams popping up in all the major northern cities, from the Boston Bruins to the New York Americans [pictutred; image from wikibooks, History of the National Hockey League]. And what a game it can be! The excitement of the Stanley Cup final can lead to many a bar-room bet (and brawl!) when the beers are flowing.

Haven’t seen a game, pal? Check out the Chicago Shamrocks:


If that doesn’t catch your fancy, pal, its hard to say what will.


And if watching that made you shiver, here’s a drink that’ll thaw you out from the inside, a good Hot Toddy:


Hot Toddy Cocktail:

[image from]

  • 1 1/2 oz Brandy, Whisky, or Rum
  • 1 tbsp Honey
  • Juice of 1/4 Lemon
  • 1 cup Hot Water
  • 1 teabag of Black Tea

 Coat the inside of a mug or Irish Coffee glass with honey. Add liquor and lemon juice. On the side, steep tea in hot water. When it reaches desired strength, add to cocktail and stir. Lemon wheel, cinnamon stick, and star anise garnish optional.

Nazi Fetishism

Posted By on March 27, 2014

Some time ago, I joined a dieselpunk group on facebook, and this post came up in my feed:

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. My first thought was do these people not realize the reaction they’re naturally going to get? 
I mean, sure, the swastika is a very old symbol, predating Nazis by a few thousand years at least, and has usually had positive connotations. But that’s not what we’re talking about – they’re not invoking eastern culture, they’re specifically invoking the Nazi connotations, and there isn’t anyone who’s going to see them wearing it that’s not going to associate it with this:

(I went with one of the milder pictures – we all know there are more discomfiting images out there….)

And there is no getting around that association. These people cannot expect people anywhere in the world to look at them wearing Nazi uniforms and not think that these are people who probably hate Jews, Romani, Gays, and the mentally challenged.

And since they say they’re not, it begs the question, are these people just wanting to be contrary and stir up trouble because their mothers didn’t give them enough attention as children?

I was at an artist gathering where the models were dressed on a steampunk theme a few months ago, and one of the male volunteer models was dressed as an un-dead German soldier, gas mask and everything. He had a character backstory though, that it seemed very important to him that everyone know: This character had been involved in one of the failed assassination attempts on Hitler, and was killed in the attempt. (And subsequently re-animated, but that’s beside the point.)

It was important to him that people be reminded that not all Germans in that period were entirely comfortable with Hitler’s actions, and there were indeed people who stood up and tried to do something about it. And see, that’s a commendable way to present that, and he wasn’t being stupid about it. Not only was he trying to educate people, but he recognized that there was no getting around people’s reaction to what he was wearing.

the CAN!CAN!CAN! Sandwich on IndieGOGO!

Posted By on March 26, 2014

So there’s this thing. It’s called the Grilled Cheese Invitational, and it’s pretty much what it sounds like. Their motto is ‘Bread, Butter, Cheese, Victory!’ and they’re holding the last one ever this year. I’m competing and it’s going to be great. This is about fun. It’s about being weird and loving it. It is about the future of what grilled cheese will be, post-apocolypse, when all we have is canned foodstuffs. 

My sandwich is called the CAN!CAN!CAN! and it features canned butter, canned cheese and canned bread. It’s going to be a ton of fun. To help fund my way in this endeavor I have an Indiegogo campaign that has some awesome rewards based on the graphic I’ve created to represent my dazzling creation. You should check it out. Watch the video, because it’s seriously one of the funniest things I’ve done in a while. 

I’ll be wearing a can-can outfit while grilling s’whiches. Because surely those will survive the apocolypse.

Check out my indieGoGo can-pain! 


The Chap Olympics

Posted By on March 25, 2014

Held every year in central London, The Chap Olympics will complete its tenth anniversary this year.

The Chap Olympics is a celebration of Britain’s sporting ineptitude: sensational cravats take precedence over sweaty lycra; more points are awarded for maintaining immaculate trouser creases than crossing the finishing line. Taking place in a leafy central London square, The Chap Olympics is a gathering place for the most eccentrically dressed sportsmen and sportswomen of the nation.

Competitive events aim to test the principal gentlemanly disciplines such as drinking tea, using an umbrella, drinking G&Ts and making an ass of oneself in public. Events include Umbrella Jousting, Tea Pursuit, Not Playing Tennis, Cucumber Sandwich Discus and Bounders.

This year’s Chap Olympics will take place in Bedford Square Gardens, London, on Saturday 12th July 2014. Tickets are available from

Michael Gove is Chap Hop Fan

Posted By on March 25, 2014

The Daily Telegraph has reported a curious affiliation by Education Secretary Michael Gove for the works of Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

It seems that Mr. Gove, when asked by another newspaper to name his favourite musical artistes, professed to being “strangely addicted to chap hop rappers Professor Elemental, Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer and Mr Bruce and the Correspondents.” The confession was immediately viewed by journalists as a deliberate attempt to make himself sound rather “with-it”, until they realised just how difficult it is to become acquainted with the works of said chap hop artistes.

Being an aficionado of chap hop requires one to attend concerts in dingy basement clubs in Brighthelmstone and attend small, poorly run festivals in other disreputable seaside towns; these are not the sorts of places one expects a member of the Cabinet to frequent. However, The Telegraph pointed out, perhaps Mr. Gove’s interest in Mr. B’s work was more of a dig at his upper class chumrades in the Cabinet. Mr. B’s They Don’t Allow Rappers in the Bullingdon Club pours scorn on Mr. Cameron, Mr. Osborne and Boris Johnson.

Mr. Gove, the adopted son of an Aberdeen fish processor, has previously criticised the “preposterous” number of Old Etonians in David Cameron’s inner circle, stating that “a similar concentration of privilege running the country does not exist in any other developed economy.” All of this can only lead one to conclude that Mr. Gove’s professed musical tastes are genuine, for a spin doctor would never have recommended he pretend to like such contentious music. He would instead, like Gordon Brown, have been told to say he likes the Arctic Monkeys.

Good Co. swings it with their new album, The Kicker

Posted By on March 24, 2014

Electroswing me brother, with a solid four.

Things are looking bright for Good Co with their second studio album, The Kicker. Following on the smoking heels of 2013’s Electro Swing for the Masses, this sophomore album corrects some of the flaws with its predecessor and spreads out in new & unusual directions.

If you’re just finding the Good Co sound, then you’re in for a treat. Fronted by jazz-man Carey Rayburn, this American electroswing band is an assembly of Abney Park alumni, traditional brass players, torch singers, and swing aficiantos spiced with modern breakbeats and retro synth sounds.

Good Co

In The Kicker, Carey and company bring their aural medley together with twelve new tunes stretching from the steampunk-inspired “Through the Door,” to the 1950s cabana beats of “Getaway,” and back again to 1920s with the gospel-inspired “In The Water.”

If you’re looking for more of the same, don’t worry. You’ll have a few songs to grab onto, but this is definitely an evolution from Electro Swing for the Masses. The Kicker brings in different beats, different styles, and different singers, showing the world that Good Co isn’t a one-trick pony. While this approach may not produce a signature sound for the band just yet, it shows us that the group is well trained and comfortable with a wide breadth of techniques not normally found on the contemporary market.

If they can keep the fires stoked and continue to evolve as shown in The Kicker, I have no doubt Good Co will be able to stand the test of time.

4/5 trumpets


For more information about Good Co, check out our interview with Carey Rayburn on Dieselpunks

Check out Good Co live in Brooklyn on Friday, March 28th at Noir York City