The Chap Olympics

Posted By on April 22, 2015

The tenth Chap Olympics will be held in Bedford Square Gardens on Saturday 11th July 2015.

This annual celebration of sporting buffoonery rewards those athletes who have put all their efforts into sartorial preparation, plus the cultivation of fine moustaches, yet have done no physical training whatsoever. In fact, anyone turning up to the event in proper sportswear or displaying any signs of physical fitness will be immediately turned away.

The far more important gentlemanly skills are turned into not-very-competitive sports. Tea Pursuit tests one’s mettle while holding a cup and saucer on a moving bicycle; Ambassador’s Ball involves the tricky manoeuvre of catapulting a Ferrero Rocher into a champagne glass; Golden Handshake puts one’s etiquette conventions to the test, in choosing the right water-filled rubber glove to shake, and Not Playing Tennis proves that we British are always on better form when asked to do something rather badly or not at all.

Tickets for the 2015 Chap Olympiad are available from www.ticketporte.com

For further information visit www.thechapolympiad.com

Chap Sample Edition

Posted By on April 22, 2015

Download the free sample edition here

The Chap has toiled away in dingy basement studios with inadequate loose leaf tea facilities, in order to provide potential readers with a gratis glimpse at what they are letting themselves in for, should they choose to subscribe to The Chap or purchase individual copies.

The Chap sample edition is a free download which contains PDFs of our finest articles from over the years. Contents include:

  • An interview with barrel-voiced bonkers thespian Brian Blessed, who discusses climbing Everest, fighting Oiver Reed and the Dalia Lama’s sex life
  • Chappish Dispatches: Chaps v Hipsters
  • How to shave with a cut-throat razor plus the best shaving soaps and creams
  • A poignant obituary for Sir Patrick Moore, whose last recorded interview had appeared in The Chap
  • The very best reader submissions for Am I Chap?
  • Instructions on how to build a medium-sized Hadron Collider in one’s shed
  • The history, construction and purchase of a heavy tweed overcoat
  • How to buy a decent linen jacket on the high street
  • Photographs from The Chap’s protest against Abercrombie & Fitch on Savile Row
  • Tom Cutler on the Art of Seducing the Ladies
  • Music: How Edith Sitwell invented hip hop, by Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer
  • Cricket Matches played in prisoner of war camps
  • The Lip Weasel: Michael “Atters” Attree rounds up hirsute beauties and beasts
  • How to make the perfect G&T and which gins to buy
  • Photographs of pretty ladies smoking pipes

You may download the entire sample edition here

Light up bedside table

Posted By on April 21, 2015

I took two Ikea bedside tables that were painted white with white drawer pulls and painted them gloss black.  I replaced the drawer pulls with ‘steampunky’ brass knobs with an antique balloon picture in the centre.  I found some glass shelves to put on top which were wider and deeper than the tables so I created a frame to go around the bedside tables, as the framing material was quite thin I used some acrylic between the frame and the table.  Under the acrylic I installed LEDs to light up the inside edge of the table.  Lastly I created some brass switches to turn on the LEDs…….the effect is awsome and now I don’t need a table lamp!

Freaks! (Edited Transcript)

Posted By on April 21, 2015

Bookworm Hienrichs: Well, I think we’ll get started.

Welcome, everyone, to this month’s Aether Salon! Our usual host, Baron Klaus Wulfenbach, is unfortunately unavailable today, so you’ll have to put up with me.

Bookworm Hienrichs grins.

Bookworm Hienrichs: Today, Jimmy Branagh – and Billy – will regale us with carnival tales, focusing on the life of the "Special People." Before we get

Freaks! (Unedited Transcript)

Posted By on April 21, 2015

[14:06] Bookworm Hienrichs: Well, I think we’ll get started.

[14:06] Garnet Psaltery: wb

[14:06] Bookworm Hienrichs: Welcome, everyone, to this month’s Aether Salon! Our usual host, Baron Klaus Wulfenbach, is unfortunately unavailable today, so you’ll have to put up with me.

[14:06] Bookworm Hienrichs grins.

[14:06] Garnet Psaltery: You’ll do fine

[14:06] Bookworm Hienrichs: Today, Jimmy

The Troubleshooter: The Most Dangerous Dame Giveaway

Posted By on April 17, 2015

This gorgeous piece of art was already revealed by Stefan months ago, but here it is again for your viewing pleasure. I’m officially dubbing next month Mick Trubble Month. The sequel to New Haven Blues drops May 18, and there will be contests and giveaways in the time counting down to the release date. 

Get the full details at the blog post: https://bardconstantine.wordpress.com/2015/04/12/the-troubleshooter-returns-cover-reveal-and-giveaway/ ;

Be sure to enter to score your free copy at the Goodreads giveaway: https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/134763-the-troubleshooter-the-most-dangerous-dame/

Thanks to everyone who’s supported The Troubleshooter since its inception. I wish I could spend more time here at Dieselpunks, but the schedule is grueling and my writing window a small one. Hopefully things can slow down in the future. I’m definitely grateful for everyone who’s picked up a copy of this series that’s so close to my heart.

Special shout out to Stefan and Mark Krajnak. Just look at that cover. You guys rock!

The Troubleshooter: The Most Dangerous Dame Giveaway

Posted By on April 17, 2015

This gorgeous piece of art was already revealed by Stefan months ago, but here it is again for your viewing pleasure. I’m officially dubbing next month Mick Trubble Month. The sequel to New Haven Blues drops May 18, and there will be contests and giveaways in the time counting down to the release date. 

Get the full details at the blog post: https://bardconstantine.wordpress.com/2015/04/12/the-troubleshooter-returns-cover-reveal-and-giveaway/ ;

Be sure to enter to score your free copy at the Goodreads giveaway: https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/134763-the-troubleshooter-the-most-dangerous-dame/

Thanks to everyone who’s supported The Troubleshooter since its inception. I wish I could spend more time here at Dieselpunks, but the schedule is grueling and my writing window a small one. Hopefully things can slow down in the future. I’m definitely grateful for everyone who’s picked up a copy of this series that’s so close to my heart.

Special shout out to Stefan and Mark Krajnak. Just look at that cover. You guys rock!

Miskatonic Monday – The Cask of Amontillado Barrel Tiki Mug

Posted By on April 14, 2015

Lights out, everybody.

On Miskatonic Mondays we celebrate the “weird” fiction of HP Lovecraft and the genre of otherworldly horror it spawned.

When we think of Lovecraft, we often think of those who followed his footsteps into the unknown: Stephen King, Alan Moore, John Carpenter, Mike Mignola… the list could go on for pages. Today, we’re looking back at one of Lovecraft’s strongest influences, EA Poe, and how he is inspiring a modern day dieselpunk fan.


It was about dusk one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season that I encountered my friend. He wore a fez on his brow and had the look of an artist about him.

“Hello, Jon!” I called from across the way.

From his stagger and rosy cheeks, I could tell he was making merry. “Come to impress the women with your tentacles again?”

“Not at all, good sir! In fact, you must see what I have created for this season’s revelries! Come! Follow me!”

A short while later, my fez-wearing friend guided me to the door of a strange Polynesian bar. Upon the walls were lights in every shade of berry, and on the bamboo shelves were mugs engraved with antediluvian carvings. One in particular stood out from the rest. It was slightly taller than a man’s fist and covered with a strange family crest. On the back, there appeared to be a relief of a man chained behind an unfinished wall.

“What horror is this,” I cried!

“No need to be alarmed, my friend. It is simply… an art project. Although, luck is with me tonight! I am in need of a man of your refined tastes. I simply cannot decide which glaze to use. If you feel generous enough to use your artistic eye to help a simple craftsman like myself, please follow me into the basement. If you’re unable, I’m sure I could always ask Luchesi.”

< insert maniacal laughter here >

Miskatonic Monday – The Cask of Amontillado Barrel Tiki Mug

Posted By on April 14, 2015

Lights out, everybody.

On Miskatonic Mondays we celebrate the “weird” fiction of HP Lovecraft and the genre of otherworldly horror it spawned.

When we think of Lovecraft, we often think of those who followed his footsteps into the unknown: Stephen King, Alan Moore, John Carpenter, Mike Mignola… the list could go on for pages. Today, we’re looking back at one of Lovecraft’s strongest influences, EA Poe, and how he is inspiring a modern day dieselpunk fan.


It was about dusk one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season that I encountered my friend. He wore a fez on his brow and had the look of an artist about him.

“Hello, Jon!” I called from across the way.

From his stagger and rosy cheeks, I could tell he was making merry. “Come to impress the women with your tentacles again?”

“Not at all, good sir! In fact, you must see what I have created for this season’s revelries! Come! Follow me!”

A short while later, my fez-wearing friend guided me to the door of a strange Polynesian bar. Upon the walls were lights in every shade of berry, and on the bamboo shelves were mugs engraved with antediluvian carvings. One in particular stood out from the rest. It was slightly taller than a man’s fist and covered with a strange family crest. On the back, there appeared to be a relief of a man chained behind an unfinished wall.

“What horror is this,” I cried!

“No need to be alarmed, my friend. It is simply… an art project. Although, luck is with me tonight! I am in need of a man of your refined tastes. I simply cannot decide which glaze to use. If you feel generous enough to use your artistic eye to help a simple craftsman like myself, please follow me into the basement. If you’re unable, I’m sure I could always ask Luchesi.”

< insert maniacal laughter here >

Cutting Steel with a Skil Saw Blade

Posted By on April 9, 2015

I’m am bolting a bunch of scrap steel together to make an anvil and I need the pieces to fit as tightly together as possible so I’ve been milling the surfaces on the CNC mill. I created a piece with a horn and step and I needed to create a area to set it down […]

Miskatonic Monday – Cthulhu Rises… for Jazz?

Posted By on April 6, 2015

Lights out, everybody.

On Miskatonic Mondays we celebrate the “weird” fiction of HP Lovecraft and the genre of otherworldly horror it spawned.

This week, we’re exploring the more musicial side of Cthulhu.


Cthulhu Rising

Dark and mystical, the nightmarish stories of famed horror author HP Lovecraft have been brought to life through Tui Award winning drummer/composer Reuben Bradley’s latest jazz album “Cthulhu Rising,” to be released this June in New Zealand and Australia.

First recorded in 2013 and premiered at the 2014 Wellington Jazz Festival, Bradley presents his haunting compositions to an Australian audience for the first time, accompanied by two-time Grammy-nominated musician Taylor Eigsti, and bassist Brett Hirst.

Inspired by the rhythm and tone of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu series, “Cthuhlu Rising” is distinguished by rich melodies and striking angles, with a mix of electronics and improvisations adding an other-worldliness to the live experience. Showcasing a unique sound, Bradley’s “Cthulhu Rising” accesses musical techniques quite different than his New Zealand Music Award (Tui) nominated album “Mantis: The Music of Drew Menzies.”

“To me Lovecraft’s ability to cascade a reader into unexpected places has distinct parallels in a more modern form of jazz.”

Augmenting Bradley’s dark, edgy beat, Taylor Eigsti’s lyrical swagger spotlights a pianist/composer of well-established ability. Having worked with such musical luminaries as Dave Brubeck, Joshua Redman, Nicholas Payton, and Esperanza Spalding, Eigsti’s accomplishments are immense. Matched by the serious musicality of bass player Brett Hirst there is a confidence within the trio which allows for both consistency and experimentation.

For more information about the album and tour, please visit www.reubenbradley.com/cthulhurising

Miskatonic Monday – Cthulhu Rises… for Jazz?

Posted By on April 6, 2015

Lights out, everybody.

On Miskatonic Mondays we celebrate the “weird” fiction of HP Lovecraft and the genre of otherworldly horror it spawned.

This week, we’re exploring the more musicial side of Cthulhu.


Cthulhu Rising

Dark and mystical, the nightmarish stories of famed horror author HP Lovecraft have been brought to life through Tui Award winning drummer/composer Reuben Bradley’s latest jazz album “Cthulhu Rising,” to be released this June in New Zealand and Australia.

First recorded in 2013 and premiered at the 2014 Wellington Jazz Festival, Bradley presents his haunting compositions to an Australian audience for the first time, accompanied by two-time Grammy-nominated musician Taylor Eigsti, and bassist Brett Hirst.

Inspired by the rhythm and tone of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu series, “Cthuhlu Rising” is distinguished by rich melodies and striking angles, with a mix of electronics and improvisations adding an other-worldliness to the live experience. Showcasing a unique sound, Bradley’s “Cthulhu Rising” accesses musical techniques quite different than his New Zealand Music Award (Tui) nominated album “Mantis: The Music of Drew Menzies.”

“To me Lovecraft’s ability to cascade a reader into unexpected places has distinct parallels in a more modern form of jazz.”

Augmenting Bradley’s dark, edgy beat, Taylor Eigsti’s lyrical swagger spotlights a pianist/composer of well-established ability. Having worked with such musical luminaries as Dave Brubeck, Joshua Redman, Nicholas Payton, and Esperanza Spalding, Eigsti’s accomplishments are immense. Matched by the serious musicality of bass player Brett Hirst there is a confidence within the trio which allows for both consistency and experimentation.

For more information about the album and tour, please visit www.reubenbradley.com/cthulhurising