Have you met Ziggatino?

| June 4, 2016

Last night I went to Krak’n Night Out.  It was held in the Hothouse in Morecambe, Lancashire, UK.  I was told it would be a casual night and not to worry about dress code. I decided to wear me best togs!  Luckily I did, nearly everyone was dressed to the ‘9’s’!  I grabbed the local beverage:

Black sheep ale…….mmmmmm!  I tried a couple of local ales which the bartender recommended. She also asked would I like my beer chilled or at room temperature, to which I replied, what would you recommend, the bartender replies, the locals drink it at room temperature and I said I’ll go with your recommendation….so she hands me a chilled beer!

Ziggatino with hand painted watch

I then look around to find a place to sit.  Two tables from the stage is a solitary figure with three empty chairs around the table.  I ask this person if I may sit on one of  these empty chairs to which the reply is to the affirmative.  The room is hot or maybe I am hot, anyways I take off my coat and put it on the back of my chair and put my bag on the floor and then take a sip of the local beverage.  I then have a polite conversation with the other person at my table who I find out is Lauren.

The conversation goes along the lines of favourite music (hers is jazz and rock, Moody Blues, the Tremoloes and anything up to the 80’s, nothing worthwhile after that….her words not mine, even though I am in agreement) why Steampunk?  Where do you work, live etc, etc……
Then I find out Lauren is an artist….has been drawing since the first time someone put a pencil in her hand…possibly 4 years old!  Lauren pulls out her portfolio…which she always carries with her….and to say it was impressive is to undermine her work!  The range and scope of her work is to say the least, awesome!  Of most interest to me were her animal pictures, there is a complete love of her subject, the dogs looked so alive you felt you could pat them and they would respond……and then Lauren showed me a drawing of a crusader with a machine gun!  The detail was meticulous, nothing missing, this was a warrior not to tangle with!  Yes I am waxing lyrical about this young women’s talents (18 years of age!) but watch out for her, her professional name: “Ziggatino” which Lauren assures me has no meaning in any language, a name that came to her.

Alice’s Night Circus

You would think I’d said enough, but no!  To top it off Ziggatino gifts me a framed Steampunk Wolf!  I had to force her to accept a gift of orange juice!…………………. I wish her all the best in her studies at Teesside University Middlesbrough!

Michael Gove is Chap Hop Fan

| March 25, 2014

The Daily Telegraph has reported a curious affiliation by Education Secretary Michael Gove for the works of Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

It seems that Mr. Gove, when asked by another newspaper to name his favourite musical artistes, professed to being “strangely addicted to chap hop rappers Professor Elemental, Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer and Mr Bruce and the Correspondents.” The confession was immediately viewed by journalists as a deliberate attempt to make himself sound rather “with-it”, until they realised just how difficult it is to become acquainted with the works of said chap hop artistes.

Being an aficionado of chap hop requires one to attend concerts in dingy basement clubs in Brighthelmstone and attend small, poorly run festivals in other disreputable seaside towns; these are not the sorts of places one expects a member of the Cabinet to frequent. However, The Telegraph pointed out, perhaps Mr. Gove’s interest in Mr. B’s work was more of a dig at his upper class chumrades in the Cabinet. Mr. B’s They Don’t Allow Rappers in the Bullingdon Club pours scorn on Mr. Cameron, Mr. Osborne and Boris Johnson.

Mr. Gove, the adopted son of an Aberdeen fish processor, has previously criticised the “preposterous” number of Old Etonians in David Cameron’s inner circle, stating that “a similar concentration of privilege running the country does not exist in any other developed economy.” All of this can only lead one to conclude that Mr. Gove’s professed musical tastes are genuine, for a spin doctor would never have recommended he pretend to like such contentious music. He would instead, like Gordon Brown, have been told to say he likes the Arctic Monkeys.

The Tweed Album – by Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer!

| September 15, 2012

A most challenging week, with my old, clunky computer finally give up the ghost at the worst possible time!  With a bit of elbow grease (and a good chunk of savings), I was able to set up a new system, load it with the old software, etc, etc… and back to posting!  Just in time, as I was behind the curve with my newest download from Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer!  His newest album, titled “The Tweed Album“, is another gem, with every song a wonder!  A fellow has placed a few of the songs on YouTube, but I’d certainly recommend a trip to iTunes to sample and download The Tweed Album, and perhaps his earlier work (titled “O.G., Original Gentleman” as well!  Please do enjoy!

Events and Entertainment for Day Two of the Chap Olympiad

| June 12, 2012

Sunday 8th July 2012 is Day two of the Eighth Chap Olympiad and will feature a selection of events which have proved favourites with Olympians and spectators alike over the last eight years. There will also be an interval slot by renowned banjolele-wielder and rhyme-popper Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer. Here is the full list of events

Cucumber Sandwich Discus: Individuals must hurl a cucumber sandwich on a china plate, with this year’s added handicap of a side order of potato crisps

Ironing Board Surfing: Contestants mount their ironing boards and are carried over the finishing line by their butlers and housekeepers

Hop, Skip and G&T: Athletes must complete all three disciplines, with the emphasis on maintaining a full tumbler of gin and tonic by the end

Umbrella Jousting: In the medieval tradition, chaps on bicycles approach each other along a boundary and use their brollies to knock each other off, protected by Bowler hats and reinforced copies of the Daily Telegraph

INTERVAL: A live concert by Chap-hop superstar Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer, who, among other notable ditties, will be showcasing his brand new tune, “Light the Olympic Pipe”

Three-Trousered Limbo: Pairs of contestants are strapped into huge pairs of double trousers, with three legs, and must stumble under a steadily-lowered limbo pole

Tug of Hair: Teams of ten tug at the tips of an enormous handlebar moustache, with the added handicap of slippery moustache wax

Bounders: A chap must say something so caddish to a lady that he receives a slap. The bounder with the reddest face, but the wryest smile, is the winner

Synchronised Slippages: In the Grand Olympic Paddling Pool, contestants must make an elegant display of tumbling, slipping and getting rather wet, as they attempt futilely to remain upright during their final few drinks of an exhausting two days of Olympian efforts

Tickets are available from www.thechapolympiad.com or by telephoning 020 7724 1617

The Siege of Savile Row

| April 23, 2012

On the morning of St George’s Day, April 23rd, swathes of immaculately dressed chaps and chapettes gathered outside No. 3 Savile Row to demonstrate peacefully – but firmly – against Abercrombie & Fitch’s proposed plans to open a children’s store there.

The protest began in earnest at 10:15am, when chumrades in arms marched around the corner to Abercrombie’s flagship store on Burlington Gardens, stabbing the air defiantly with home-made banners declaring “Give Three-Piece a Chance”. On the very steps of enemy HQ, Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer led the troops in song, chanting “All we are saying is, give three-piece a chance” adapted from John Lennon’s original.

Once pitched outside A&F’s flagship store, demonstrators were greeted by hordes of press, both local and international, accumulated on the opposite pavement. Also in attendance was the Chief inspector of Savile Row Constabulary, who commented to one of the protestors: “In all honesty, this is the best dressed demonstration I have ever seen.” We hope the Chief Inspector will add his signature to our petition and help keep riff-raff off the Row.

After a final rousing chorus of Give Three-piece a Chance, the protesters dashed off to the French House for a much-needed mid-morning snifter, since the Martini hour had long since passed. By 9pm GMT on Monday night, news of the protest had ripped through the press, both in the UK and across the pond, with reports featured in The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, Fox News, The Metro, The Evening Standard, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, Bloomberg Business Week and more. With all this media attention, we’re confident Westminster Council will veto A&F’s application to open a children’s store on Savile Row, and allow it to remain the heartland of British bespoke tailoring.


Photo by Stephanie Wolff. To view more, visit www.flickr.com

To sign our petition against Abercrombie & Fitch, visit www.petition.co.uk

Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer v. Professor Elemental – the 2011 Chap Off!

| June 25, 2011

Came across this gem while working on tomorrow’s project!  Via the SF Crowsnest website (and attribution by a Ms J. Martin), it was certainly one of the more “genteel” episodes on this steamy controversy, which took place earlier this month!  Please do enjoy!

Songs for Acid Ted, by the Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer

| May 28, 2011

Ah!  The weekend has finally arrived, a respite from the travails of the work-a-day week!  As such, I’ll begin my own celebration with one of my favorite compilations from Mr. B, the Gentleman Rhymer, titled Songs for Acid Edward.  One of his standards, his video is an outstanding work – please do enjoy it!